10 Ways to Prepare for Birth

‘Preparing for birth’ can feel pretty overwhelming.. do you do pregnancy yoga? Aquanatal? PT? Hypnobirthing? Antenatal Classes? NCT? Just chat to your midwife? Ask friends and family?

It’s no surprise really that most of us get so confused by all this that we just end up covering our ears and ‘going with the flow’ is it?

I wanted to share 10 ways that we, here at birth-ed, can support your journey to parenthood. I challenge you to pick just ONE thing off the list and do it TODAY.

1) Podcast- TOP UK Pregnancy Podcast 'The Birth-ed Podcast' bringing together world leading experts in pregnancy, birth, women's health and parenting to discuss topics from Induction to Caesarean, Infant Sleep to Homebirth. Listen here for free.

2) Bump Club- If you're receiving this email, you may well be in the bump club already! But if you're not yet receiving weekly emails tailored to your gestation of pregnancy, make sure you're in- sign up here.

3) Follow us on Instagram- For ongoing support, information and conversation (and some incredible videos and photos of birth!) Follow us here.

4) Birth-ed Hub- Want our back catalogue of information sharing, debate, positive birth stories and top tips for birth? Looking for something specific? Use the 'search' function! Read more posts here.

5) Guided Relaxation- If you're signed up to a course with us, you should have several of these to turn to to help you relax! Not signed up yet? Download one for free here.

6) Join our Facebook Groups- To ask questions, hear stories and get peer support. Not signed up to a course with us? You'll want our public group. Already signed up? Join our course group where I'm much more present!

7) Watch an Intro- Interested to learn a bit more about how hypnobirthing works? If you have a spare 45 minutes to yourself, why not watch out 'intro to hypnobirthing session' here.

8) Join our Online Course (available worldwide £40/$49)

9) Join a Group Course (In Surrey/SW London)

10) Join me one-to-one (Zoom UK or In person Surrey/SW London)

If you're not sure where to start, my inbox is always open! Email me info@birth-ed.co.uk and let me know what's going on for you right now, and we can work out the best next steps from here!

How to manage ‘false labour’!

Googling, ‘how to get labour started?’, ‘labour is stop start?’, ‘slow labour?’… Read on!

So you might have clicked on here after a a few hours/days/weeks thinking ‘THIS IS IT’! And now you’re fed up! But I’m going to let you in on a little secret.. There’s no such thing as false labour!

Lost your mucous plug?

Yep, you might find one evening things start niggling, there’s some twinges, you loose your mucous plug, have some tightenings, maybe it even feels like it’s really ramping up! You’re excited! You bounce around on your ball all evening, your partner cancels their plans, you run a bath, watch a funny film, do all the ‘early labour prep’ you’ve been planning! Then you both head to bed- to get some sleep & hopefully wake up ready to call the midwife! The following morning, you wake up.. and nothing! That evening the cycle repeats.. the following morning NOTHING! Now you’re feeling disheartened, tired, impatient, stressed, it FEELS like ‘false labour’, someone might have even told you it’s ‘false labour’.. but it isn’t.

Feeling positive when labour is slow

Allow me to reframe things for you. Every single moment of pregnancy- your baby and your body are preparing for birth. Every single minute that passes is one minute closer to meeting your baby. In the last few days of pregnancy there’s so much going on in there that we can’t see from the outside that needs to happen before your baby is born; just because it’s ‘stopping & starting’ or moving slowly, doesn’t mean your body isn’t doing exactly what it’s supposed to! These early surges might be encouraging your baby to rotate into the right position; they might be helping your baby tuck their chin down & align themselves for birth; they might be moving your baby further down into your pelvis; they might be causing your cervix to soften, draw forwards, shorten, or begin to open.. you’re doing everything right!
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Positive Hypnobirthing Affirmation ‘One step closer to getting my baby’

So if this is you in a few months time, a few days or maybe even as your read this- you’re already one minute closer to meeting your baby! This is one minute you’ll never do again and SOMETHING in there has changed! Things ARE always moving forward! And it WILL reach a point where the starting doesn’t stop, until you have your gorgeous baby in your arms!

So for now- 📺 Distraction 🧖🏿‍♀️Relaxation 🌬Breathing 🙏🏻 Patience 👶🏼 and trust ❤️ You’re so close. In your own good time baby.

The best position to give birth in…

What is the best position to give birth in?

Birth positions! believe it or not, birth positions aren’t something I like to focus on too much on our courses. Why? Because the position you give birth in can’t be predecided. There are positions where the incidence of tearing may be lower, there are positions that might help a back to back baby rotate, there are positions that might make monitoring your baby’s heartbeat easier.. but the RIGHT positions are the ones your body ASKS you to adopt in labour.

Instead of focusing on the ‘best’ positions to give birth in, you’re better of focusing on building trust in yourself, in your body, in your baby and tuning into your instinct.

Why does everyone lay on their back to give birth?

Good question! Whilst following your instinct is important, there’s some important physiology that’s worth understanding before labour comes, which can help you realise why laying on your back a la ‘every movie ever’ is NOT a helpful position to give birth in (unless you’re there because YOUR body asked you to be!)

Your birth canal has a corner!

If you are standing upright, the journey your baby has to take in labour is a little like a death drop slide! Straight down and then diagonally forwards.. a pretty easy route! If you’re on all fours, laying on your side, squatting, seated.. this route remains fairly easy for your baby! The minute you lay flat on your back, you create an uphill journey for your baby! So the question to ask yourself is- would you rather push a baby up a hill or down a hill?

UFO! Upright, Forward, Open. There’s 28% more space in your pelvis when you’re in an upright and forward leaning position position, than when you are laying on your back. You’ll likely find that your body replicates this in labour be that by standing, being on all fours, sitting on a ball or even side lying with your knees bent a little.

Humans have tails! Ok not quite like a dog and they don’t wag if we are happy, but they DO move! Our coccyx bone usually tucks right into the pelvis, as your baby’s head descends it pushes the coccyx out of the way. If there is something blocking this move (like a bed if you’re lying on your back) it slows baby’s descent and makes life much harder for you both!

When it comes to labour itself, have this info at the back of your mind, but ultimately, adopt the positions that are comfortable, move when you need to and tune into your instinct!

Birth positions for birth with an epidural

If you have an epidural in, that doesn’t mean you have to be flat on your back either! My top tips for giving birth with an epidural in- here!

For more birth position ideas and hints and tips for a positive birth, join us for our Online Hypnobirthing course! (It’s JUST £40)

Birth is just like going for a poo!

How to make birth easier

‘I’ve been suffering with awful constipation..’ ‘oh, you know what will help? Lie down on your back and I’ll watch and shout at you a bit until you’ve finished..’ said nobody. Ever.

I was teaching this weekend and we just KEPT coming back to the parallels between birth and pooing! (Okay, you’re probably going to love what comes out quite a bit more when it’s a baby but there’s a lot to take from the analogy I promise!).

Birth is just like going for a poo

Picture this, if you will, it’s been a day, maybe two, since you last went for a poo, and suddenly you feel the urge! (Don’t cringe, it’s pregnancy, we’ve all been there 🤣) What exactly is going to make this experience easier for you? Where do you picture yourself? In what position? Who’s with you? How do you feel?

The perfect environment for a positive birth

You’re probably picturing yourself somewhere private, probably enclosed, there’s probably no one else in the room, so you’re feeling uninhibited- if you need to pull a face or make a noise, you don’t mind, because no one else will know! You’re seated or squatting- you’ve got gravity on your side, maybe you have a little wriggle, change position slightly, just to make it a little easier.. you don’t question it, you just do what feels helpful in the moment..

How not to give birth

Imagine instead I asked you to lay on your back in a bed whilst I watched and told you exactly what you needed to do. Try for your poo now. Easier? Harder? You think I’m totally mental don’t you. 🤣 I promise I’ll never ask you to do this 🤣 but question for a minute then, what birth looks like on the tv.. why are women always on their backs? It doesn’t make sense physically.. why are women always in bright rooms surrounded by people? It doesn’t make sense hormonally!.. why are we taught that anyone else can understand what’s going on in our bodies better than US? The person FEELING it? It doesn’t make sense physiologically!

So just for a moment, think about birth as if you were doing a poo! It could change everything!

If you want your dreams of a positive birth to become a reality, why not join us for an in person hypnobirthing and antenatal course in Surrey or London. Further afield? Check out our Online Hypnobirthing course!

Positive Birth Story: Home Birth of a first time mum and a hospital transfer

Photo credit: Rebecca Barclay Photography

My first realisation of being ‘in labour’ started when my waters broke with a pop at 21:45. on 20th September (37+2), after a bath and just as I was getting into bed. In hindsight I had probably been in early labour for the two days previous….I’d had mild irregular cramps that felt like period pain but was convinced it wasn’t labour so had gone to work!

We called our doula Sarah Marsden straight away once waters had broken. Becca went downstairs to set up birth pool, luckily she had done a practice run filling and inflating it earlier that evening so it was still pumped up, whilst I chilled out upstairs. At 22:40after the house was ready for the birth, we called the midwives, just as a storm started outside. 

I started on the TENS machine to manage the contractions. I couldn’t find any comfortable positions so didn’t want to listen to actual hypnobirthing tracks that were asking me to get comfortable! However, all the principles we learnt at the course and from listening to the tracks previously helped me stay calm through contractions and to trust my body knew what it was doing. We also had affirmation cards we made around the house. I kept returning to a story of a lady who had given birth in a coma in 4 hours, showing that if you let your body take control it can do everything for you. 

Contractions continued to get stronger so we called Sarah again as we were ready for her. Our midwives Christine and Louise arrived around 23:30. They took our birth preferences in to another room and went through it together. Throughout the birth they really respected everything we put on it (no vaginal examinations, no offering of pain relief). 
Sarah arrived sometime after midnight and immediately calmed both myself and Becca. At this point the surges were causing me to projectile vomit. Sarah helped with keeping me comfortable and generally kept us both calm. Her presence gave Becca a chance to chat to the midwives and keep the pool at the right temperature. 

I got into the pool around 02:30 once the TENS was insufficient to manage contractions. I was immediately able to relax as the support from the water allowed me to get comfortable. Midwives mainly sat in the other room, coming in periodically to check on us. 

By this point the storm was raging outside, we wondered whether the roof would come off the house as I was giving birth! Buckets of vomit were thrown out into the storm and then at some point I became very calm and apparently fell asleep in the pool. After this period of calm, contractions became more intense, and I held Becca and Sarah’s hands and breathed through them. At this point I asked why no one had brought me gas and air yet as contractions were becoming very strong;  Becca and Sarah got the midwives to bring it in. Sarah also gave me a scarf to pull on during contractions, which really helped. There was a period of increasingly intense contractions, however they never got really close to together. There was another period of calm and then at around 04.45 a final wave of the strongest contractions. My body started pushing of its own accord, it was like an involuntary spasm I had no control over. Becca joined me in the pool once she could feel Minnie’s head. The only conscious push I made was to get her body out once her head was out.   
         
Becca and the midwife caught her (we were very nervous about fumbling her and dropping her back in the pool!) She did half a cry but wasn’t breathing regularly so the midwifes cut the cord quite quickly and took her to the other room with Becca and called an ambulance. I was in the pool still and tried to relax, my instinct told me she would be ok and she was with her other mummy Becca. The midwives used a bag and mask to help her breathe and I heard her crying.  The ambulance didn’t take long and Becca went with Minnie, I went in a separate ambulance. The paramedics were lovely and very chilled. Minnie was fine in the ambulance and Becca was sending me photos of her. Becca and Minnie went to A&E whilst I went to the labour suite to deliver the placenta. After over an hour I decided I didn’t want to wait any longer for the placenta but wasn’t in the mood for any pushing or contractions so asked for the injection to deliver the placenta. They checked me over, no need for stitches, yay!  

By this stage, doctors were happy that Minnie was OK and we were reunited 2 hours after she was born for her first feed. We were kept in for 24 hours of observations but we got a private room and Becca was allowed to stay. 

Although the transfer to hospital whilst not ideal it still was a positive experience, all the staff were great. Overall we really enjoyed the whole experience.  We feel that having the birth pool, the hypnobirthing course, our doula Sarah, and a respectful midwife team were all central to our positive experience and are so glad we chose a home birth for our first baby.

Thankyou to Georgie and Becca for sharing their amazing birth story!

Positive Birth Story: Second time mum’s homebirth

I had a fabulous home birth experience on 24th of August 2017 🙂 The previous day I made the decision to have a sweep which happened at 4.30pm at 40+5 (was only 1/2cm and cervix was still high up and hard to reach), had on and off twinges from fairly soon after that until about midnight when I got into bed and they became regular, I still thought they were just pains caused by the sweep and didn't expect them to come to anything. Sat on my ball watching fight club until 2am when I got in the shower. Stayed there until 4am when it wasn't really helping so much anymore and I felt restless. I got out and asked Dez to help me put my tens machine on, he thought we should call the midwife but despite having contractions every 3 mins for over an hour, I didn’t know if this was it and didn’t want to waste their time 😂 Dez kept saying he thought we should so he called the midwives at 4.35am and she arrived at 4.50am. She took my temperature and blood pressure and listened into baby and as I swayed on my ball and breathed through contractions I said to her ‘so do you think this is it then?’, she looked at me funny and said she thought it was 😂 Dez started setting up the pool and my mum arrived shortly after 5am. I was on my ball with my tens machine managing well (aside from throwing up once which left me feeling incredible 😂) until just before 6am when I asked for gas and air and got in the pool just after 6am which was like getting into a lovely warm bath and I was able to sit back and relax). Midwife's changed shifts about 7amish (who knows?) and my one lovely midwife was swapped for two lovely midwives. Soon after that was when I started to feel the first bit of genuine pain I’d felt through the whole thing. In my head I was thinking ‘either my baby is coming right now and that means I’ve totally nailed this or we’re a while off yet and I cannot do this!’ 😂, turns out that was my transition phase and my body started to push! Ezekiel was born at 7.37am. The midwives were all fabulous and were hands off just as I wanted. No vaginal exams, no coached pushing and nobody touched my son but me. I moved through from the pool in the dining room to the sofa in the living room where we waited for the placenta while he fed and Orla (2 years 9 months at the time) came downstairs to meet her brother after being asleep in bed the whole time. I had the injection to deliver the placenta as I was bored of waiting and wanted to get dressed and chill 😂 the midwives went through to the dining room to do paperwork and left us to it and then they left around 9.30-10am. I stayed in the lounge for most of the day with my mum and Dez looking after Orla and bringing me food and drinks. By the time I went into the dining room later everything was packed away as if it never happened! In terms of my body, i had no tears and felt totally fine by teatime! I would recommend a home birth to anyone 💜 our Northampton home birth team are award winning and it’s been proven that for first time mothers a home birth is AS safe as hospital and for second time or more mothers it is SAFER than hospital for low risk mamas. Not to mention the fact that   (in this area) all your antenatal appointments are held at home which is AMAZING with other kids to think about 😂 the only thing I will warn is that you might have such a good time that you wonder if you could perhaps just do it again and again? 

Thankyou so much to Alix for sharing her story. You can follow Alix’s motherhood journey www.instagram.com/_andthebattlebegun_

The Most Important Science Lesson of Your Pregnancy

Hormones in Labour

It’s safe to assume, that since the human race has existed for millenia, the female body is pretty capable of giving birth! In fact, it was designed to do so! From an obvious perspective- we have a uterus (home for baby) and a vagina (exit route for baby!), but it’s not quite as simple as that! What is happening physiologically in our bodies throughout pregnancy and birth, is complex, but to a point- within our control! We can do, say and think things that could stall labour in it’s tracks.. or we can do, say and think things that help it do it’s job exactly as it needs to!

The key to it all, lies in understanding the hormones!

So, obviously, in order to give birth we need contractions (or surges). Your surges are responsible for pulling up the muscles of the uterus, causing your cervix to dilate. They are responsible for pushing the baby out through the cervix and through the birth canal, to be born. Now there’s one very important hormone, which is responsible for ALL of this. It’s the hormone that brings on labour, that regulates and maintains the contractions, that builds up the intensity of contractions and essentially allows us to birth our babies- and it’s called oxytocin.

SO oxytocin is known as the ‘love’ hormone, or the cuddling hormone and it’s produced when we laugh, when we have sex, when we breastfeed, when we stroke a dog! Anything that makes us feel ‘happy’ or gives us that ‘warm fuzzy’ feeling helps us produce oxytocin. So we want this in the BUCKET LOAD when it comes to giving birth! To produce oxytocin we need to feel safe, relaxed and unobserved. And there’s so many ways to keep that flowing- whether that’s watching a funny movie in early labour, taking photos of places we love or our other children with us to the birth, having a pillow from home that smells of us and makes us feel ‘safe’. But, importantly oxytocin is made in part of our nervous system known as the parasympathetic nervous system.

Now we have another side to the nervous system- known as the sympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for producing another hormone that you may have heard of called Adrenalin. These two hormones- oxytocin and adrenalin CANNOT be produced at the same time. If you’re producing one, then you’re not producing the other.

Adrenalin is the hormone of ‘fear’ and stimulates something called the ‘fight or flight’ reflex within our bodies.  If the ‘fight or flight’ reflex is triggered, then all of the blood, that usually surrounds our internal organs (including our uterus) rushes to our arms and legs, so we are ready to run away! Now evolutionally, this would have been pretty helpful! If we were crouched down by a tree ready to give birth, and along comes a sabre tooth tiger- we want all that ‘giving birth’ to stop, so that we can get the hell out of there! But, we’re unlikely to be giving birth by a tree near a sabre tooth tiger, so this response is pretty useless to us in 2018- but unfortunately it’s still there! And there’s a whole host of things that can trigger it during labour- whether that’s getting in the car to get to the hospital and getting stuck in traffic, or laying on your back for a vaginal examination that you don’t want and isn’t comfortable. And all of this happens in our ‘neo cortex’, which is the ‘thinking/talking’ part of our brain.

And so working in the hospital, we so often see, women coming in, having been having contracting every 2-3 minutes at home, and then once they’ve got to the hospital, sat in the waiting area, moved to the triage, had Vaginal Examination, moved up to the labour ward or the birth centre and by the time they’ve got there- the contractions have disappeared or slowed right down. And THAT is what adrenalin does to the birthing body.

In our most recent group hypnobirthing course we discussed some of the things that might trigger the production of adrenalin, and some oxytocin producing ideas we can use to stop adrenalin in it’s tracks!

What might cause Adrenalin production during birth?

Car Journey

Hospital

Unfamiliar staff

Vaginal Examinations

Unexpected Interventions

Negative Language

Bright Lights

Being talked to or disturbed

Monitors

Restricted Movement

How can we create oxytocin to keep things going smoothly?

Hypnobirthing scripts

Massage or soft touch

Aromatherapy Oils

Home Comforts (like a pillow from home)

Pictures of places or people we love

Positive Affirmations

Water Immersion

Dimmed Lights

Candles

Up Breathing (A hypnobirthing technique)

Positive language

Supportive partner and midwife

Remaining quiet

Using ear phone or an eye mask

Place of birth- Home? Birth Centre? Hospital? Where do you feel most safe?

Simply being aware of what may trigger adrenalin production for you and what you can do to stop the fight or flight reflex from being triggered can be the first step to a positive birth experience! To put it simply, they say- if you couldn’t MAKE a baby in that environment, you probably can’t give birth in it! I would love to hear if you have anything else that worked for you personally.

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To read more hints and tips for a positive birth experience read more here.

If you are interested in taking the next step to a positive birth, Positively Birthing Hypnobirthing and Antenatal Classes run throughout Surrey and SW London- areas including Surbiton, Esher, Teddington, Cobham, Twickenham, St Margarets, Thames Ditton, Molesey, Richmond, Wimbledon, Kingston, Sunbury, Epsom, Ewell, and beyond

Positive Birth Story: An Informed and Calm Induction

I am delighted to able to share Sophie and Richard’s Positive Birth Story with you today. Sophie and Richard took a Positively Birthing Course during their pregnancy, and felt able to make informed decisions around induction for their personal circumstances.

”I went in to be induced at 10am on the Tuesday and had the propess at 12pm. Unfortunately the initial CTG suggested that Lara wasn’t coping very well so we needed continuous monitoring, which I found very restrictive as had to stay pretty static.  I was able to go for a walk round the hospital at about 4ish and that really helped my outlook (it was good to get mobile and get some fresh air). At 5 I put my hypnobirthing tracks on my headphones and Richard and I cuddled up on the hospital bed to make the most of the relative lack of movement. Within 1/2 hour my waters had broken, and I definitely think the relaxation of the hypno tracks helped get me in the zone! 

Lara was born at 8.43pm after a short and intense labour with just tens machine and gas and air for pain relief. She required ventouse delivery in the end as the doctors were getting worried about her heart rate and she seemed to be in distress. However I’d pushed until she crowned so it was a relatively simple instrumental delivery in the end. 

The Positively Birthing course really helped us navigate the decision re. Induction and the hypnobirthing techniques were invaluable during the labour itself. I honestly think that if we weren’t practicing hypnobirthing I would have ended up having a c-section as staying calm and relaxed really helped me. I also felt really positive about the instrumental delivery, as we were aware of our options and felt that we made an informed decision. 

Lara scored a 9 and then a 10 on Agpar and we got to go home the next day, so all going well so far! 

Thank you so much for your help and support!”

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If you are interested in taking the next step to a positive birth, Positively Birthing Hypnobirthing and Antenatal Classes run throughout Surrey and SW London- areas including Surbiton, Esher, Teddington, Cobham, Twickenham, St Margarets, Thames Ditton, Molesey, Richmond, Wimbledon, Kingston, Sunbury, Epsom, Ewell, and beyond. All bookings can be made here.

How Jammy Dodgers can help you give birth naturally!

About a year ago, I was supporting a couple through labour when things began to stall.. contractions slowed down.. and mum and baby were both showing signs of getting tired. She’d tried changing position, going for a wee, all the oxytocin inducing techniques, but it wasn’t speeding back up.. hmm we were thinking, what next? THEN, she ate a single, mini jammy dodger… We were back in business!! Things picked back up, and within the hour, she birthed her baby naturally, in the pool, like the absolute superhero she was! 

When things slow down in labour, everything we learn, particularly in hypnobirthing, tells us we must be producing Adrenalin.. Are you feeling scared? Did someone new come in the room? Where’s the oxytocin gone? Why has it all slowed down? But, though the hormones of labour are CRUCIAL in helping things go smoothly, there are other things we need to take into account. And one of them is food!

Um.. ‘Why WOULDN’T you eat in labour?’ I hear you ask! A bit of background.. Historically, almost 100 years ago now, the majority of women were put into something called ‘twilight sleep’ for their births- where they would be so heavily anaesthetised, they would have no memory of the birth, and unsurprisingly, eating or drinking in this state wasn’t a good idea – and it came with a high risk of aspiration (inhaling vomit), and therefore, women were discouraged (or even forbidden) from eating. Fortunately ‘twilight sleep’ is a thing of the distant past and the current risk of aspiration whilst under general anaesthetic during birth, today is 0.0000007% (0.7 in a million!). Phewf! For some reason, even though such medicalisation of birth is now non existent, the idea of ‘not eating’ during labour seems to have stuck around.  Hmm..

Surges (or contractions) are the muscles of the uterus contracting and releasing, for several hours or even days up to the point of birth. In order to do this, they need energy (obviously)- which as you can guess- requires food (or calories in some form)! Very little has research has been undertaken specific to the nutritional needs of women in labour, but research in sports science has found that taking in carbohydrates during ‘exercise’ (ie. Labour) improves performance and protects against fatigue and ketosis (where the body burns it’s own fat or tissue for energy- rather than the carbohydrates from food).

So perhaps that is how the magic Jammy Dodger saved the day and saved the birth! The final sugar rush her body needed to get that baby born! They were the first thing I put in my hospital bag for our own birth, and I even almost bought shares in Jammy Dodgers.. (though any variety of sugary snack would do the trick!).

So when you’re packing your birth bag or stocking the cupboards for your home birth- make sure you’ve got some high energy snacks in case things slow down.. If the usual methods of bringing back surges aren’t working- this might just do the trick!

The current guidance in the U.K. is that low risk labouring women, including those with epidurals, should be able to drink and eat as they choose throughout labour. The only time where the recommendation is for you to not eat, is if something happens during labour where your ‘risk’ of c-section becomes more likely (And epidural does not increase the likelihood of c-section) or if you use opioid drugs (which can cause nausea/sickness).  

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If you are interested in taking the next step to a positive birth, Positively Birthing Hypnobirthing and Antenatal Classes run throughout Surrey and SW London- areas including Surbiton, Esher, Teddington, Cobham, Twickenham, St Margarets, Thames Ditton, Molesey, Richmond, Wimbledon, Kingston, Sunbury, Epsom, Ewell, and beyond. All bookings can be made here.

Positive Birth Story: Going Overdue

'My first baby arrived on her due date. What are the chances?! It made life pretty simple in so far as we didn’t have lots of people texting and calling to see if the baby was here. I was happily pregnant...ready to not be pregnant but was not at the hanging in there, oh-my-god-I-am-STILL-pregnant stage that seems to set in anytime from 40+1.

When my second was due, I was completely and utterly convinced that she would be early. I was SURE she would be here by 38 weeks. They (my dad always asks me who “they” are?!) always say that subsequent babies tend to come earlier.

At the first scan, our due date based on my last menstrual period was four days earlier than our due date based on the scan. At the hospital I gave birth in, the policy is that they only adjust the date if it is five or more days out. I had done a lot of hypnobirthing preparation and considered myself to be pretty well informed about my choices, so I raised it with my midwife. I explained that I would prefer to move the date – it was nearly five days out – I wanted to buy some time before we would have to tackle the induction conversation. I also explained that I have a long menstrual cycle, around 6 weeks rather than the 4 weeks that the whole 40 week thing is based on. I didn’t honestly think I would get to that point, but I knew I would be mindful of the fact that with an adjusted date, I would be 4 days behind where “hospital policy” would have put me.

But 38 weeks passed, 39...until finally she came at 40 + 14. If we hadn’t moved the date that would have put us at 40 + 18. Interestingly, the very first thing the midwife said – before we announced the sex of our new baby – was “oh my goodness that baby is not full term”!!! The midwife said they look “more wrinkled”, have less vernix and have long nails, none of which Milly had. If we had left the date, she would have been nearly 3 weeks “overdue”.

My third came at 40 + 13, having moved the dates by a couple of days based on the scan, after a  chat with the midwives. This time we would have been at 40 + 15 if we hadn’t moved the date. These last two pregnancies were so very different to the first. Not only was I massive and running round after one/two other small people, but I also felt such pressure from many people for the baby to arrive. Texts, calls, “oh my god you are still pregnant”-type chat. “YES I AM STILL FRICKIN’ PREGNANT!!!” Those two weeks with M & W felt like an absolute lifetime. In all honesty I was pretty fed up and really would not wish a super long pregnancy on anyone. On top of this, there is pressure for induction from people telling you stories about how the placenta will stop working, you will run out of amniotic fluid and more…

Why did I choose to put off induction? Why didn’t I want to get that baby the hell out of there? Because induction can be hard if the baby isn’t ready. In natural labour the uterine muscles flex and release, but when labour is started with synthetic hormones the muscles never fully release so your muscles remain tense throughout birth. The mother also does not produce the same levels of hormones: endorphins – for their pain relieving properties, and relaxin - to help the cervix to soften and open. The result is that induction can be long and drawn out, or very quick and forceful, both of which put pressure on the mother and the baby.

In my case of a long menstrual cycle, it seemed to add up that I would have longer pregnancies (this is my personal view, I am not a doctor, or a midwife; it seems to make sense to me and would be interested to see if it works the other way round too…) I recently read an article published by Evidence Based Birth - here. It explained that we use Naegele’s rule to determine an EDD. To calculate your date based on Naegele’s rule, you add seven days to the first day of your last period and then count forward 9 months. This rule was based on work done by a Dutch professor  - Hermann Boerhaave - in 1744. However, Boerhaave did not actually explain whether you should add seven days to the start of the last period of to the last day of the last period. He simply said add seven days to the last period (Basekett & Nagele, 2000). According to this article, by the 1900s, most doctors were adding seven days to the first day of the last period, “a rule that is not based on any current evidence, and may not have even been intended by Naegele”.

Now I am not a crazy lady. I am mindful of the risks of a longer pregnancy* (and indeed of any pregnancy). I was mindful of how I was feeling but putting the date forward seemed absolutely the right thing to do for us. Based in part on my history and in part on my long menstrual cycles. I felt informed and confident thanks to my hypnobirthing training and the support of some fabulous midwives. I am absolutely not saying that this is the case for everyone, induction can be a life saver for some women. This goes without saying. And there are positive induction stories out there. However, being aware of your own, personal situation and having the confidence to question hospital policy is so valuable. The knowledge that I did have a choice, that hospital guidelines are just that – guidelines, based on an average. But we are not all average! We are unique, individual, strong and powerful to do what is right for us, with the right information behind us.'

Thanks to Kate , mum of 3 and hypnobirthing teacher at Effie and Ros for sharing her story! You can follow Kate's journey on Instagram.

* NOTE FROM POSITIVELY BIRTHING: Very new research is now actually showing a reduction in the risk of still birth once associated with pregnancies lasting over 42 weeks. It is not yet clear why this seems to be the case, but may be to do with women receiving increased levels of monitoring after this point. If you are facing a decision of whether or not to have an induction based on 'dates' alone, as with anything, please discuss with your midwife or qualified healthcare professional.

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